Why is Masking Harmful?
Why is Masking Harmful?
In our previous blog, we discussed masking and how it differs from code switching. This time, we’re going to talk about why masking is harmful. After all, on the surface it appears to be relatively benign. You’re just making some changes to fit in. So what’s the problem?
Many people who mask do so because they have received a lifetime of messages indicating that they are not good enough as they are. They talk too much, they move too much, they are interested in “weird” things in “weird” ways. It’s not that they’re choosing to behave differently, they feel they have no choice but to change their behaviour because of fear of alienation and exclusion. Often, people feel they have to mask across multiple domains, so instead of code switching just at work, they are changing who they are with friends, family, at work, and when they are in public. Some people who mask do so at home, having no safe space to be who they are.
Masking frequently eliminates or curtails behaviours that allow ND people to regulate emotion and to comfort themselves in a world that is often too loud, too bright, presenting them with too many emotional, conversational and other demands to manage.
The stress of perpetual masking contributes to burn out, and can leave Neurodivergent people unable to address self care, work, and can rob ND people of their ability to enjoy their lives. Many of the mannerisms that are hidden by masking cause no harm to other people. Does it really matter if we look each other in the eye? Does it matter if a person flaps their hands when happy, or if they shift from foot to foot when they are anxious. If it does matter, why does it matter and who does it matter to?
People who mask report that masking all day can contribute to restraint collapse, meltdowns, chronic exhaustion, shutdowns and eventually to burn out. Burnout is the longer term loss of the ability to function in the world. Burnout can lead to job loss, relationship loss, and in some cases is a permanent condition. At the end of the day, the stress of coping with overwhelming stimuli all day, can lead to uncontrollable emotional reactions all night, leading to a vicious cycle of emotional dysregulation, that can deeply impact the lives of ND people.
Amanda Broderick, BSW Student Intern.
Meet Amanda, guest author for the above blog post. Amanda Broderick, an autistic, disabled, white bodied female who is currently pursuing her Bachelor of Social Worker degree from Dalhousie University. She is completing a practicum placement with a clinical social work focus in Shelley Restall’s Counselling practice. Amanda is passionate about supporting late diagnosed autistic females (including self-diagnosed, exploring neurodivergence), to build a life that is based on self-knowledge, self-acceptance, creating systems of neurodivergent affirming support for daily life, and de-constructing internalized ableism that is self-limiting.
