5 ways parents can support their child with an eating disorder.
Parents and caregivers are most often a key component of their child’s treatment access, support, and recovery. Parents never cause an eating disorder however they can be an incredible support in the process of their child accessing treatment as well as making a recovery. First, let’s identify how when your child has an eating disorder it definitely can impact everyone in the family system, as their habits around food often become a focus, and maybe even a demand for others to comply with too. Parents may miss early signs of an eating disorder, or even disordered eating given their own unknown thinking patterns and beliefs about healthy eating, thin being equated to health because of diet culture influences. Once an eating disorder is identified it definitely can feel heavy, exhausting, paralysing with fear, and parents may start researching all information possible about how to help their child with an eating disorder.
Here are the 5 most common tips I share with parents about how they can help their teen and adult child with recovering from an eating disorder. Empowering parents is an important part of eating disorder treatment.
Keep the lines of communication open: Communication is key when it comes to supporting someone with an eating disorder. Keep the lines of communication open and let your loved one know that you are there to support them no matter what. Open and honest communication that includes validation can help you both talk about difficult things and express that you care about them. An example may look like this: “I know this may be hard for you to talk about, however I want to share with you that I am concerned about your health because your eating patterns have become quite restricted. I am here to help you, let me know if you are open to talking about it.”
Educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. This can help you better understand your loved one's condition, and it can help you be more effective in supporting them. When we have a lot of fear and anxiety, learning about the situation and what is most helpful in terms of treatment can help you feel empowered to ask questions with your healthcare providers, and also to offer suggestions to your loved one about accessing treatment.
Be non-judgmental: Avoid blaming or shaming your loved one for their eating disorder. Instead, offer your support and encourage them to seek professional help. No one chooses to have or keep an eating disorder. Eating disorders have many factors that contribute to the development and sustainment of the disorder. Eating disorders are a neuro-metabolic disorder which means it impacts all systems in the body. This includes their brain, their perception of sensations in the body, and this can limit someone’s motivation and willingness to get help.
Avoid commenting on their appearance, weight, body shape, and eating when they “eat more, or try new foods.” Avoid commenting on your loved one's appearance, as this can be triggering for someone with an eating disorder. Instead, focus on their personality and character. It’s also important to not talk about what they are eating when they eat more food or different food as this can escalate feelings of fear and guilt about not obeying the eating disorder thoughts they experience.
Encourage professional help: Eating disorders are complex conditions that require professional help. Typically professional help includes meeting with a team, including a healthcare provider for medical monitoring, a dietitian for nutritional education and refeeding, as well as a therapist who specialises in eating disorders. Encourage your loved one to seek the help of a qualified healthcare provider. If your loved one is not ready or willing to seek help, you can seek out help through support groups offered for parents of a loved one with an eating disorder, or for your own caregiver support with a therapist who specializes in Emotion Focused Family Therapy to support your in transforming communication, keeping the emotional connection open with your child, and learning how to effectively set limits.
Family meals are an important part of building an intuitive eater, and supporting your kids to develop a healthy relationship with food.
Supporting a loved one with an eating disorder can be a challenging and an emotional experience for parents. You don’t have to feel isolated, alone, and fearful through this journey. Break the silence and seek your own support to help you feel more confident with navigating the journey of eating disorder treatment, recovery, and providing ongoing support with your loved one.
